Achieving lasting happiness in life requires hard work. A common misconception is that one can achieve happiness without hard work simply by avoiding all of the negative or difficult aspects of life. In other words, if a person uses fear as their primary motivator, their life will stay good. The main problem with this logic is that negative or fear based motivators by their nature produce only limited and very temporary results.
As you may know from your own experiences, many substance abusers have had those close calls; an overdose, a car accident, problems at work or domestic incident, which provided them a negative motivator to change their behavior. They swear off drugs or alcohol but only for a short period of time. They may even moderate briefly, but some time elapses, and before too long the fear fades and their desire for a quick fix and short term pleasure returns and guides their life once again. They return to this lifestyle because it is comfortable. It is all they know.
…happiness motivates all people. Avoiding negative events and habits out of fear usually provides only momentary positive results, followed by returning to the instant gratification path once more. Instant gratification causes more unhappiness in the long run than does planning and working towards long term happiness. Long term happiness is created by making a choice to mature and looking beyond the immediate for sustained success and stability.
When someone decides to change their life, especially someone with an extreme habit like substance abuse,…a dramatic effort must be expended in the first stages of change.
It is not unlike a boulder rolling down a mountain. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to stop the boulder, but once it is stopped, it takes much less energy to keep it stopped. …to turn years of habit around one must put themselves through a dramatic self-analyzing process and create a new norm for living that departs from their past habits.
Young people looking out across the landscape of adulthood are, more often than not, intimidated and even fear-ridden at the prospect of having to perform as adults.
Any behavior that avoids changing when all the signs of life indicate such a need for change is abusive. This behavior may include lack of taking care of your physical being, (i.e. smoking, alcohol and/or drug abuse, overeating) or driving too fast for societies laws, or being unwilling to give in an intimate relationship, or avoiding the hard work necessary to advance your career when you know you have the talent and time to do it. The list can be endless. The time is now to begin to look introspectively on what you need to change in your life to grow up and mature out of the behaviors that are keeping you miserable.
Having faith means believing in the future when you have no direct evidence that anything will ever get better. Having courage means you are not devoid of fear; it means that you are acting positively and faithfully in spite of your anxiety and fear.
…there is nothing more detrimental to attaining a joy filled life than a closed mind.
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