FORMER GUESTS STORIES

LORI - RICK - ERIN

LORI

I come from a good, loving family. Unfortunately I didn’t realize that until I decided to get sober. From day one, I was not your typical experimenting teenager. From my first sip of beer, I drank like an alcoholic. After being placed in treatment centers for my problem drinking, I graduated to full-blown drug addict. At 26 years old, I had been in and out of drug rehabs and detoxes, I couldn’t hold a job, my relationships were destroyed and I had adjusted to the idea that I would probably die a heroin addict. I had been labeled a chronic relapser and been diagnosed with mental illness. With each subsequent treatment center, there was a new diagnosis and more medication. These diagnoses became my excuses to fail. I was not getting better at all, I was actually getting worse.

I robbed those closest to me of money, love, affection, material possessions and trust. Eventually I was faced with criminal charges and a possible long-term prison sentence. My family approached me with one last chance, either go to the St. Jude Retreat House™ or go to prison. My parents had gotten to the point where they would have been happier with me in prison than on the streets, because they were truly afraid for my life. They were at the end of their rope when they found the Jude Thaddeus Program™. It was so different from where I had already been that they were willing to take one more chance on me.

Believe it or not, I was still unwilling to seek help. I cried and begged them not to put me in another rehab. But from the first moment that I walked into the St. Jude Retreat House™, I knew this place was different. I felt a sense of comfort and belonging immediately. The ideas and concepts were new to me. There were no counselors or psychiatrists diagnosing me. There was no substituting one drug for another. There were no group therapy sessions. And there was no blaming others for my life’s failures. Yes, I learned that much of my life was my fault, but I learned that this was truly good news, because that meant I could fix it. And I was shown exactly how to do just that.

Most of the instructors and members are alumni of the program, so they had experiences much the same as mine. They were honest and kind, using their own experiences to help me. I was treated like a human being and more important, like an adult. I was treated with respect. And they were happy, pleasant people to be around. That was something that I wanted to be more than anything.

The Jude Thaddeus Program™ has changed my life completely. I have found a new sense of peace in my life. I am so grateful that I have decided to stay and help others to gain the freedom and happiness that I now enjoy.

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ERIN

As I got older and more rebellious I started experimenting with alcohol and marijuana at the age of twelve. I found freedom from my fears getting wasted. As I pursued drinking and drugging on the weekends, I began doing more and more things that I didn’t want to remember. So I sought further escape in alcohol and drugs. When I was fifteen I experienced the death of a loved one for the first time. I was devastated. Instead of making the choice to deal with it in a healthy way, I chose to escape by getting high. It was at this point in my life when I lost my will to live and chose harder and harder drugs. I would try any drug I could get my hands on until I discovered crystal-meth. This became my drug of choice.

In the beginning doing crystal-meth was fun, so I did it all the time. Before too long I needed it to feel “normal.” My addiction led me out of school and onto the streets. I became involved in very rough crowds and had distanced myself from my family. This hurt them a great deal as they did not understand and were worried for my safety. They tried to help me, but did not know what to do. I never cared or thought about how my actions affected them, only about how I felt. I turned into a person that I never wanted to be.

Before too long I was arrested several times, in and out of rehabs and mental hospitals, tried AA and NA and diagnosed with a host of mental disorders. Treatment never worked for me. I ended up homeless and more depressed than ever. I had become completely hopeless.

Thankfully my mom had not yet given up on me and she found the St. Jude Retreat House™ on the internet in December of 2002. She noticed that it was different from all the other information she had read. It offered a solution not a disease. I was not convinced that I would be successful but I had become willing to try anything and this was definitely different. During my stay at the Retreat House™, I got brutally honest with myself and applied the program in all areas of my life. I began to see things much more clearly and take responsibility for myself and my choices. I began to change my whole way of thinking. I realized everything in my life had been a choice. I had made so many bad decisions in my life that I had become pretty good at it. Now it was time to learn how to make the right decisions. I made a commitment to get well and with the help of the Jude Thaddeus Program™ I was able to make positive life-enhancing changes in my life. With continuous hard work, I have made several amazing breakthroughs and experienced serious growth mentally and spiritually. The Jude Thaddeus Program™ taught me the skills to truly recover.

Today I live a happy, successful, drug-free life. My life has changed 100%. My motives and outlook on life have flipped from where they were selfish and destructive, to now giving, helpful and positive. My dreams are coming true and my anger has subsided. My relationship with my family has been restored and I have made life-long friends. I am happy to be able to say, Life is good…

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RICK

Let me give you my background. I have been to over 2500 AA meetings, relapsed 22 times, lost 15 jobs, went to 14 conventional rehabs, been to Court 14 times for various problems, had 9 car accidents, been through 6 psychiatrists, survived one suicide attempt and broken too many hearts to count. It seemed to me that I was a hopeless case, doomed to a life of relapse, misery and loneliness.

It was the final class of the week in Jude Thaddeus Continuing Education. The last ten minutes had witnessed an explosion of pent-up rage and resentment. My instructor left the room with my fellow classmate for a quick smoke. I sat there in the room gazing out the window overlooking the cresting waters of the Chuctununda Creek. A wave of emotions overtook me. I covered my face and burst into tears.

It was there, on that chilly April afternoon, that I had experienced an overwhelming emotional displacement. My frustrations and self-pity had dissipated. My anger towards my instructor had vanished. The calamity of noise in my head that was my lifelong soundtrack had abruptly ceased. Suddenly, a new sense of peace and reason had entered my heart and mind. For the first time in years, everything seemed to make sense.

I had finally taken a step out of Self-Centered Hell. The struggle was over. The Jude Thaddeus Program™ offered me a path to a vital spiritual experience provided that I followed the text to the letter and worked with other alcoholics and drug addicts with the same zeal and intensity that I had used getting drunk and high. For three months, I had cut corners and didn’t stray much out of my comfort zone, all the while convincing myself I was doing everything I could possibly do to help others. My conscience was telling me otherwise. Three months into the Process, the experience happened. I came to grips with the stark reality that I needed to do much, much more if I wanted to be truly happy. Immediately I began to spend time with everyone at the Retreat House, especially those I hadn’t approached before. I started to stay at the house every night, regardless of my “late night” schedule. I listened intently to the outpouring of fears and uncertainties of the new guests. I found myself enjoying the experience of being a friend to strangers, and my energy level increased with each passing day. I have created a new list of loves in ways that I had never before experienced:

I love waking up early every morning, looking forward to what the new day will bring. I love the man who listened patiently to me for four hours as I read the sordid details of my past, and who continues to be a pillar of strength to me. I love the volunteer who spends the better part of the day preparing my dinner. I love the guys whom I have spent that last four months with as housemates, getting to know them as I had never known anyone before. I love the man who just arrived last night, tired and full of trepidation, wondering why all these guests are being so nice to him. I love the guy who left here a while back, who is involved with his local community and is enjoying his life. I love the young man who went home to live with his mother a few weeks ago, and who hasn’t returned any phone calls yet. I love the man I visited at the hospital the other night, who is contemplating a decision that could change his entire life. And I love the man who will be taking my bed in Building 15, as he prepares himself for several months of hard work and self-realization. With dedication, perseverance and God’s strength, he can experience the same sense of spiritual joy that I have found here at St. Jude

Rick

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