Statistics completed at the University Of California and Chapman University, reveal from numerous studies that couples who struggle with alcohol or drug use are more likely to divorce than couples who do not. While the amount of marriages taking place is about the same among non-users and drug and alcohol users, the divorce rate on the other hand, is four times as high among drug and alcohol users creating a need for addiction and divorce rate help.
Similarly, divorce statistics in countries that have a high percentage of drug and alcohol users are also higher. To some people, the solution to lowering the divorce rate would be as simple as not marrying someone who has a problem with alcohol or substance use. However, since many people marry without knowing that a substance use problem exists or since in many cases the substance or alcohol use develops after the marriage; avoiding divorce by not marrying a substance user seems an unlikely scenario.
Those same statistics show that many of the divorces did not occur until after an individual attended alcohol or drug treatment. This can be explained by high failure rates of alcohol and drug treatment which is due to their erroneous and harmful beliefs and treatments. Alcohol and drug treatment programs teach substance users that they are sick and powerless, and they teach spouses and families this as well. This provides those struggling with addictions an excuse to act badly, relapse and not take responsibility for their choices and actions. Instead of becoming a responsible, caring, contributing member of the family, the substance user falls back on their pseudo-sickness when faced with life's challenges which are inevitable. Alcohol and drug treatment professionals label family members and in some cases blame them for many of the substance user's problems, when in reality family members have no control over the substance user's choices and behaviors. This only serves to drive a larger wedge between family members and the substance user.
This idea is further illustrated in 12 step programs where group members are told they must become selfish and shift their focus from the spouse and family to a higher power and to the group itself. If adhered to by the substance user, this behavior can leave the spouse angry, lonely and isolated. The spouse who was hopeful that the substance user would shift his/her focus from substance use back to the spouse and family suffers the ultimate disappointment. Still, another reason for a high divorce rate among marriages where alcohol or substance use is a problem is that in most cases the spouse is not interested in participating in group therapy and family support group meetings which are a large component of 12 step rehabilitation programs. For many they are too busy taking care of the family's needs, as they have been all along, with little or no help from the substance user.
In a Boston University 2007 study of divorce rates among young adults, researchers discovered that a high level of alcohol use while the individuals were in their early 20's was the leading cause of divorce before the age of 30. Further, the study revealed a connection between alcohol overuse and domestic violence as well as family economic issues. While the thought of addiction and divorce can be the turning point for some users; unfortunately it is not for many. Heavy drug and alcohol use can make the responsibilities of marriage almost impossible to handle for both the individual using drugs and alcohol and the spouse caring for the user. While one spouse has matured out of the behaviors and takes on adult responsibilities, the heavy substance user chooses to remain immature in the relationship. The key to regaining power over your life and possibly preventing divorce is in learning that people struggling with addictions do have the power to change their substance use habits.
Freedom Model Retreats offers a non-treatment program that can help you take back control of your life and help heal the damage in your marriage. It is never too late for a new beginning, but you ultimately must make your own choice regarding your marriage. We encourage all our guests and their spouses to analyze themselves and their relationship. They must decide how committed they are to the relationship and what course of action they will take once they leave the program. Only those in a relationship can make the decision to work through this difficult time or end their marriage.
The overwhelming success of our non-treatment approach has shown that alcohol and substance use is a choice and not a genetic defect that forces you or destines you to become a drug addict or alcoholic. The Freedom Model Family Program dispels the myths surrounding the labels thrust upon spouses and families. Spouses are not enablers as their actions have no bearing on what the substance user chooses to do or not to do. As they complete the Freedom Model Program, our guests realize that they do have control over their life and as a result develop a stronger self esteem, personal responsibility and resiliency in the face of life's normal challenges. Guests and their families begin to see a future that is bright and hopeful, and they gain a deeper sense of purpose. Call Freedom Model Retreats today and let us help you take back your life and build happy, healthy relationships!